+Renata | 22 | Multifandom
Brazilian; Media Communication student ♥ Theatre, music, movies, food and literature. Cat lover. Passionate about life. Dreamer. Wanderlust. Weird.
I usually follow back, but you can ask! I love to talk and meet new people :) x
Do not click here.
@teddysphotos poster 💚💚 (Capricho magazine | AUG2014) #edsheeran #esbr
Don’t fuck with my love turned 4 today!
Hora de afinar o Mayer pra tirar algumas músicas nesse friozinho <3 #music #guitar #sheeran
Tumblr is the only place where I can vent. Always been my safe spot. Of course, when I had a boyfriend, he was the one who listened all my issues and everything, but now I don’t have him anymore, so back to Tumblr, right?
I was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. First the doctors told me about a tumour, they thought it was benign, but the speed how it grows in the last months shows that isn’t a good tumour (well, when it’s never good, right?) anyway…
I try to build a wall when I’m close to my mom. I don’t want her to see me cry and I’m actually dealing really good with everything, but sometimes, I can’t handle.
My dad (if you know me, you know how my relationship with him is hard) only know about a little, little, little tumour who causes me pain, but as usual, he says that I’m pretending to be sick, that I’m a spoiled brat, that I do this to self attention.
So again, I need to come here to talk about these things, because I don’t want to bother specific people with that. I have one only friend who knows about EVERYTHING because she had a tumour removed from her thyroid a few months ago and she’s still on treatment. Beside that, I only wrote as “public” about the disease this week. I didn’t talked anything about cancer specifically. I talked about a tumour.
Why this week? Because the radio and the chemo. I’m already taking medicine and doing radio, but the doctor said that I’ll need some chemo. And I’ll loose my hair anyway, because of the chemo or even the surgery. Brain cancer.
And I thought I would deal really good with the hair thing, because it’s just hair. C’mon Renata, you had your hair short so many times. You had so many colours in your hair… Isn’t a big deal, right? But no, it scares me a lot. I think that the hair “part” finally made me feel everything. Before was like, isn’t with me, you know? But now, is it.
Sorry for putting this in your dashboard. I just needed to talk.
And I know, I have friends who follows me here. If you read this and I didn’t told you about all this stuff before, sorry. Sometimes I just don’t know how to start. It’s like… I don’t want to look like a victim, because I’m not, really. I’m bigger than cancer, I’m stronger than cancer, but sometimes I feel scared as hell.